The Wall of Pain

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Life is filled with pain. The Psalmist asked God in Psa. 139 to show him the “way of pain in me.” The King James Version in Psa. 139:24 renders his request as asking God to find any wickedness in him, but the Hebrew language is closer to a hurtful way or literally a way of pain:

24 See if there is in me any hurtful way,
and lead me along the eternal way.

Psalm 139:24 Complete Jewish Bible (CJB)

One of the truths in helping people be transformed is finding their wall of pain, which often times is blocked from their minds, as they have walled themselves in from the hurts they have experienced This is a typical human reaction to pain–shut it out by any means possible–denial, anger, indifference or sometimes drugs and/or alcohol to dull the pain coming from their hearts. This is never a long-term answer to their difficulties because Jesus has a better healing – revelation and release. I hasten to add it this takes guts to allow Him to probe.

The Wall

Often in the ministry I’ve been involved in, called Restoring the Foundations (, I’ve encountered at a certain time in the ministry session, almost without exception, a wall of pain in the person that takes different shapes and sizes. This isn’t what the client dreamt up but what the Holy Spirit reveals to them at that moment in the ministry session. Some people describe brick walls, some concrete, others barbed wire. But they all have one thing in common: they’ve constructed it to block out pain.

In the wall can be found different things. I remember once seeing faces in one young man’s wall of pain. When I asked him who they were, he told me it was his youth group at church, whom he hated because of their rejection of him. Whether he was really rejected–or whether it was his perceived rejection–the pain was real to him, nevertheless. On another occasion, the client saw words written all over her wall – words of pain, criticisms, putdowns and the like. Again, these situations vary from client to client.

Most often the walls are thick because of the many years the person has put brick upon brick or barbed wire around their hearts, as hurt upon hurt has been experienced. Some have been bricklaying since birth! When we asked if the person wanted his or her wall taken down so they could experience life and love again, most dared to say “yes,” but on occasion fear prompted the person to say “no,” that their wall was a “safer” way to live. In other words, “dead” but “safe.”

Blocking Intimacy

The sad part of wall building is that it keeps out further pain but never deals with the main inner pain that is the real problem. It also destroys intimacy with God and others, which is what everyone needs. Very often wall-building insulates rage, resentment, hate, and if not literal retaliation, that which resides in the heart that desires to get even, keeping the person in a joyless spiritual prison that may remain year after year UNTIL Jesus is asked to deal with it.

As I received from the Lord the desire to write this, I was reminded of the Vietnam Memorial where is etched the names of thousands of brave men and women who gave their lives in a seemingly winless war. The sad soldier leaning into the wall is reflecting on the comrades who had suffered and died next to him in the jungle in Southeast Asia. Their hands meet in consolation or camaraderie, but the sadness is reflected in their reaching to each other.

We often reflect on deaths, also – the deaths of relationships, what might have been and the constant pain that wracks our memories of better days long since gone by. Our God knows them all and is sad with us. I once had a very sad experience                                                                                                         that led to the end of a relationship that was very dear to me. As I meditated, I could “see” Jesus crying with me because of the hurt I experienced that day.

On the positive side, God can put these past events in the past, wiping them out of our hearts and spirits forever. Yes, we may remember, but the hurt can be gone IF we will give it to Him.

casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully] 1 Peter 5:7Amplified Bible (AMP)

Joseph Beckham is the author of Deeper Water for Thirsty Souls and

Overcoming Bipolar Disorder & Other Mental Difficulties: A Christian Perspective – Print version out soon! (

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