The Other Side of a Broken heart

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Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds and marks
Any heart
Not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts
Ooh, ooh love hurts

Some of you will recognize the lyrics to the song Love Hurts sung by the Everly Brothers and others. This tells the truth that love hurts.

Love is an enigma. Once you have it it is wonderful, but often we can’t keep it. And when we’re jilted, forgotten by a person we wanted to love or love us, it wounds us deeply. For some this never ends. Some people carry hurts until they die. This is really a shame because the Lord Jesus Christ died on the cross of a broken heart. This is a medical truth concerning his death, that his heart literally bursts for the pain of mankind, and of course the sin that caused the pain.

Millions of people have broken hearts with the pain that goes with it. Some walk in the shadow of death constantly contemplating their pain and suffering. Depression accompanies them at every turn. Even Christians have lost their joy because of a wounded spirit. This is because of loss of family, romance or broken promises. Often people tell me of their betrayals at the hands of men or women. Sadness abounds. Is there hope for healing a broken heart?

The Bible and the Heart

In Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, which is a listing of primary words contained in the King James’ version of the Bible, the brain is not mentioned once, whereas the heart is cited 826 times! This should tell us something about what God reveals to humankind. For us to change, God desires a change in our hearts. Let’s talk about the heart and what it is for a moment.

In the Bible the heart is considered the seat of life or strength. Hence, it means mind, soul, spirit, or one’s entire emotional nature and understanding. The heart is the organ that is said to have the ability to reason, question, meditate, motivate, and think.

Can the heart think? In my blog Thinking with Your Heart, I discovered it does. (For more on can the heart think?, please see

Note these two major scriptures concerning the heart:
“The upright (honorable, intrinsically good) man out of the good treasure [stored] in his heart produces what is upright (honorable and intrinsically good), and the evil man out of the evil storehouse brings forth that which is depraved (wicked and intrinsically evil); for out of the abundance (overflow) of the heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45 Amp).

“But what does it say? “THE WORD IS NEAR YOU, IN YOUR MOUTH AND IN YOUR HEART “— that is, the word of faith which we are preaching, that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. “(Rom. 10:8-10 NIV).

There are two aspects to believing for salvation – mind through the mouth and the heart. Faith also works in every other area of life. Some Christians believe that just by saying a scripture to God that the deal is done, especially if is said repeatedly. However the heart is involved as well. I love it when God shows me something unequivocally that I can “claim.”

Science agrees that the heart thinks
Have you ever wondered why the heart is the first organ to function during the fetal development process? One of the reasons why the heart is the first organ to function is, because it is an electromagnetic field generator that acts like a broadcasting device. As the heart beats, it sends out electromagnetic waves that contain essential information. All cells of the fetus receive these waves of information; therefore, they affect how the fetus is developed.

The heart is one of the most important organs in the human body, because it is one of the main mediums for connecting us to each other and the Universe. Conventional science has taught us that the main role of the heart is to pump blood to all the systems of our body. This definition of the heart is not very accurate. Besides pumping blood, the heart also has an intelligence of its own.

According to neurocardiologists, 60 to 65 percent of heart cells are neuron cells, not muscle cells. This discovery has helped them develop experiments that have proved the heart works similar to the brain and in some ways is even superior to the brain. This may be the reason that the heart is the first organ to function after conception. Within about 20 days after conception, the heart starts to function, but the brain does not function until after roughly 90 days. This information tells us that the brain is secondary to the heart.

The heart gives us universal characteristic and the brain gives us individual characteristic. For this reason, the heart holds the key to bonding with others. Because the heart gives us universal characteristic and is the key to bonding, if we want to live in a world filled with peace and love, we need to listen and think more with our hearts instead of only our brains. Through the hidden power of the heart, we can achieve universal understanding; therefore, living in a world filled with peace and love is possible.

Obviously then the heart has two components: The physical side of the heart that keeps us alive and the spiritual side of the heart that was developed for God himself to speak to. It is clear then that he speaks to the spiritual side of the heart. How does he do this? I’ll explain more on this in a moment but he speaks first to the spirit of a person and then the heart. In other words, the spirit of a person runs through the heart. The Bible uses a lot of different words for such things as heart, soul, spirit, and flesh. Although heart and spirit are similar, they are not the same.

Most Christians can quote Proverbs 3:5-6:
Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart
And do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him,
And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].
This tells us quite clearly that we are not to lean unto our brain for understanding because God has a better way of leading us through our heart. The brain is the final place through which the word of God must come from the Holy Spirit through our spirit and then to our brain.

Wounded Hearts
Because He is spirit, God cannot communicate directly to the brain. The route is through the Holy Spirit to the human spirit and then to the brain. Life is full of pain. This damages our ability to hear God who wants to speak to us clearly. The heart suffers incredibly and remains hurt until someone allows the Holy Spirit to heal their heart. Listen to some of Jesus‘s words found in Isaiah 61:1-3, as he read from the scroll in his hometown of Nazareth:
61 The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
Because the Lord has anointed and commissioned me
To bring good news to the humble and afflicted;
He has sent me to bind up [the wounds of] the brokenhearted,
To proclaim release [from confinement and condemnation] to the [physical and spiritual] captives
And freedom to prisoners,

He blew their minds when he said, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing,” meaning he was the one the scripture was referring to. It is Jesus who possesses the anointing to do the things mentioned in this scripture, and his anointing is on every Christian, but especially powerful to those who are baptized in the Holy Spirit and are obedient to his leading.

Satan’s Plans
Satan sets up situations so that people wound each other. Those situations and our wrong responses to them ensure we are hurt. This may begin early, even back to the womb. Rather than following what scripture says about how to respond, and yes, it is very hard to respond correctly, people do the following:

They hate, rage, judge, criticize, and want revenge. Bitterness caused by long-term unforgiveness is the reason for these things.. Evil words often precede these responses. The entire New Testament, after teaching us about salvation, was designed to teach us to respond differently to things but also to be healed from the things that were there previously. This is where inner healing comes in. My blog ( was written to help people be healed. I also wrote three books to deal with such things.

You’re hurt, what now?

You have choices to make. You can choose to remain in your pain, reminiscing almost daily about how you were hurt and how much you now are still hurt. This will cause you to remain in the same pain day after day, month after month, year after year. The devil majors in self-pity. This means your greatest enemy is self-pity. This is turning inward on yourself or “poor old me.”

The other choice is to allow the Lord Jesus Christ to heal you. He will heal your soul, and he will heal the wounded spirit in you. Sometimes the result of these spiritual healings also bring physical healing.

The spirit of a man sustains him in sickness, But as for a broken spirit, who can bear it? (Proverbs 18:14 Amplified Bible)
Yes, Christians can have wounded spirits. And without the healing of the spirit and the soul, wounded people will remain in pain.

Spiritual prisoners

When we refuse to forgive someone, we actually become a prisoner to two different entities – Satan and the person we refuse to forgive. Holding people as prisoners in our hearts blocks the healing that God would give us, releasing us from another satanic grip and that of our “enemy.”

…10If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And if I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven it in the presence of Christ for your sake, 11in order that Satan should not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes (2 Cor. 2:10-11).

This scripture explains clearly that one of the devil’s schemes is to keep us in an unforgiving state. Our enemy knows the Word, too:
15 But if you do not forgive others [nurturing your hurt and anger with the result that it interferes with your relationship with God], then your Father will not forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:15 Amplified Bible)

Steps to healing:
1) Recognize you are hurt: don’t deny it.
2) Consider why it happened, who was involved.
3) Write down the people’s names so you can fully consider what happened.
4) Commit yourself to forgive the people, the times and places of your wounding. Yes, this isn’t enviable because it may involve people in your family who you appreciate and love. Sometimes they can wound the most.This will take the grace of God to allow you to deeply forgive. You cannot likely do this by forgiving with your head.
5) Pray for and bless those who hurt you. You must do this! Release any pain in your heart for these people. I know that some of them did some terrible things to you but God wants you to forgive, as a matter fact he requires it. I was molested by a group of boys when I was four years old. Yes, this caused me to have deep problems, but healing and freedom were more important to me.
6) Ask the Lord Jesus Christ to send the Holy Spirit to heal the wound in you. If that doesn’t work immediately, get a biblical counselor to pray for you, especially so you can confess your pain and anger so that you can forgive those who hurt you.
7) Do this repeatedly if necessary. Don’t give up even when things are hard, keep on doing what is necessary for your freedom.

I mentioned earlier there are two choices: you can stay hurt, remain sorry for yourself and full of resentment for the person who was responsible. Or you can do what the Bible says — forgive, Bless those who hurt you, and be healed from your pain.

Joseph Beckham is the author of Deeper Water for Thirsty Souls –
Overcoming Bipolar Disorder & Other Mental Difficulties: A Christian Perspective –
Soul Ties: The Good, the Bad & the Ugly – ebook/dp/B07Q5BCSPT/ref=sr_1_6?keywords=Joseph+beckham&qid=1571351450&sr=8-

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